Swimming is. . .

Swimming has been a favorite part of my life for as long as I can remember. My family wanted me to be active and at a very young age my mom took me to a swim meet and I just knew that this would be the sport for me.

There is something magical about swimming, a wonderment about the way the water molds to my body, rippling over and massaging my flesh that has been beaten down by the elements in the day. It fascinates me how quickly I can move through it as I push off the wall in a streamlined position; yet if I were to put my arms out like the wings on an airplane, I slow down tremendously. And I am amazed at the ability to build such magnificent muscle tone, just by pushing and pulling through it. It is almost as if it passes its strength and majesty off onto us if we are willing to take the time to master its secrets and respect those secrets about it that we will never know. Swimming is a peaceful silence amongst the chaos of the day - immediately after diving in all I can hear is my own breathing and the movement of the water that I create as it moves around me.

Swimming to me is more than just foggy goggles, swim caps, wetsuits, pull buoys and kick boards. It is the eerie silence of the water while submerged. It is about feeling powerful and yet so small in a substance that is so unpredictable. Swimming is a brilliant piece of the Ironman. There is no controlling the water that I will swim through and knowing this, I will respect it and prepare as best I can for all of its unpredictability and hope that it will be kind to me on the morning of the race.

(Top left photo: me at age 12 - waiting to race. Bottom right photo: Senior Year, diving off the blocks)

April 5 - April 11

• 4-5-10 - Swim 4,000 yards/Run 1:15 - Today I went on a 1:15:00 run as part of my attempt to "run better" and hopefully faster by the end of May. I felt terrible the first 10 minutes, but broke through a wall and felt better shortly after the 10-minute mark. I did enjoy running outside after my swim today - the water in my hair cooled me off and instead of smelling sweat, I smelled the chlorine seeping through my pores.
• 4-6-10 - Bike 1:30/Run :35 - I have made a decision to attack the wind. If its going to be a part of Spring, I may as well use it to my advantage in order to make myself stronger. The run was difficult this time. I think my legs were over-worked from the bike. But, I did it. OK, honestly, how much can I say "I did it" and have it really matter until I prove it to myself on race day?
• 4-7-10 - Bike 1:44/Swim 4,000 - The bike felt good today - although that screeching wind isn't exactly my favorite thing. I am still staring the wind in the eye and trying to kick its butt while using it to help me. The swim felt a little odd at first since I have not done the bike to swim for quite awhile. But, I really do enjoy the feel of the water on my body after a ride.
• 4-8-10 - Swim 4,000 yards - Still feeling marvelous during the swim.
• 4-9-10 - DAY OFF
• 4-10-10 - Bike 3 hours/Run :30 - What goes through my mind the day I head out for a ride: "I hope I can do this". "Its going to be fine". "Each day you are are getting stronger and you can only improve". I hope my mind is right. I have brief doubts as I shift gears, huffing and puffing up a hill. I have fears as I can barely keep my eyes open after a long ride and run where I end up falling asleep on the couch by 9:00 P.M. I know I can do this and all of these thoughts will continue only as I continue to improve.
• 4-11-10 - Bike 2:16/Run :30 - Very little wind starting out - I am excited - completed 37 miles in 2:16 (stopping at intersections and all) - ran the dam for :30. Its pretty miraculous how my legs can feel exhausted during the bike and feel "OK" during the run. SIDE NOTE: On the ride today, I think I was hit by at least 200 bugs (on the lips, in the ear, on my forehead) so many bugs and they were all really big ones too - where did they come from? HA! Oh my!

"Die Wind Die"

April 3, 2010 - (weather report: 54 mph wind gusts)

I have never trained in the Spring on a road bike. I purchased my bike last year in June (Spring was but a distant memory at that point). Therefore, although the wind should not have been a great surprise a few days ago when I went out into the elements for the first time, IT WAS! Today is Saturday and my third day riding outside this year. I was hesitant as I packed up my car, glancing at the tops of the trees as they ferociously danced in the howling wind as if they would snap off at the middle at any moment. But, my thinking was simple: "what else am I going to do today and if not now - when"? It was only wind after all.

Digressing a moment - Thursday was the first ride, I spent much of the ride yelling for the wind to die and grunting loudly as I turned a corner and the wind took the privilege of slapping me in the face. On the run it rested a bit, but on the way back across the dam, it took full advantage of almost pushing me. I couldn't tell if it was "for" or "against" me.

Fast Forward - Today I knew the wind had it out for me. The first leg was too easy (in my mind I knew an awesome tailwind ALWAYS turns into a gruesome headwind on the way home). In the beginning I cruising along (my top speed according to my bike computer was 31.5 mph). Although I was giggling like a child as I sped along, I could not help but wonder how bad it would be when I turned around.
The first hour was astonishing - I felt FAST and FREE, as if this were as close to flying while still on the ground that I would ever feel. The elements were friendly to me and I was having a great time. It wasn't until I turned to head East that the gusts whipped at me from the side. It was a struggle to stay on the road and out of the way of cars coming up behind. I tilted my bike and leaned into the wind at a crazy angle for at least 20 minutes until I turned to head South - OH MY!

Head Wind or headwind [hed-wind] - noun - a wind opposed to the course of a moving object, esp. an aircraft or other vehicle (opposed to tailwind). A wind blowing directly against the course of a moving object, especially and aircraft or ship. (definition courtesy of dictionary.com)

Over the tunes playing in my i-pod and over the clattering of the hooks beating against the flag pole as they tried to keep the flag attached, the wind was screeching. It was all that I could hear, this ear-bursting noise that was impossible to tune out. As it wailed on, it proceeded to throw leaves and stones at me, drop sticks on my head and dust into my eyes. I squinted, closed my mouth and peddled as hard as I could. Yet, I still could not move any faster than 12 mph ( a far cry from 31.5). At points, gusts were so strong, my bike stopped and started to roll backward despite my peddling. There was no "rolling down hill" on this ride. I peddled up and down. I WANTED TO QUIT - but how? I was still 10 miles from my car. My only thought was "I guess I will get there going all of 12 mph then - better than nothing".
Finally, 58 minutes later, I saw the bridge ahead of me that stood only a few feet from my car and food and calm and rest. As I gritted my teeth, shifted my gears and lowered my body in order to gain as much ground as a could before my ascent, I charged up the hill with all the energy I had in reserve, determined to show the wind that I would conquer any attempts it had made to stop me that day. I was moving faster and closer to the end. But, just as I reached the summit of the hill (bike sign clattering back and forth in the wind, dust spraying and whirling through the air on the bridge in front of me, one large gust came at me from the left, sending my bike off the road, over the gravel and into the grass. There, I stopped, unclipped my shoes, planted my feet and held on.
I had officially been "bitch-slapped" by nature and less than 1/10 of a mile from the finish. I immediately started laughing as I stood on the side of the road trying not to get knocked on my butt while clinging to my bike with all the strength I could muster. When I finally did put my bike back on the road, I couldn't get on, let alone peddle. Laughing, I said aloud, "I can't even get on my bike".
Then, as if the wind had heard my surrender, the forces slowed, wind died down a bit and I re-positioned myself, got on my bike and peddled to my car.
I took a challenge (although looking back I am still not quite certain if there was a point to me doing this) and won (well, don't tell the wind that, I don't know if want to do another ride like this one).

Back in the Saddle

It feels as though a million days have passed since the last day I rode my bike outside. And yet it also feels as if only a day has slipped by. I am nervous. My heart is beating. But I am ready.
This is the day I have been waiting for all through the long winter and yet I want to cry "too soon" "too soon" "I am not yet ready for this chapter of my journey to begin". With hesitation and elation I pack my gear, grab my sunglasses and my helmet, make a note to buy sunscreen and hope I don't get too burnt today. However, I have always had a "thing" for the first "burn" of the year after the winter has caused my skin to turn some pasty shade of "white", I am ready and yet I hesitate. Yes, yes, I am ready....set....go....
Deep breath, zip up my jacket, clip on my shoes, feeling the sun, the glorious wind and the smell of Spring. Ironman is calling, Do you hear it - that gentle whisper through the trees as I whiz by. Ironman is calling, tugging at my sleeve, can you feel it? One more day of opportunity, one more day to train. My bike. The open road. The amazing journey.


April 1 and April 2

• April 1, 2010 - Bike 1.5 hours/Run 1 hour - Today was my first time back "on the road" since early October and I forgot about one thing - wind. I could throw my arms around all winter sitting on the trainer, but throwing my arms around on the bike outside, in the wind, with cars whizzing past, potholes and gravel below; it is a recipe for a face-plant and some serious road rash. After the bike I attempted an hour run across Alum Creek Dam and it felt like winter never even existed. It was honestly a blur and I had to fight, mentally, just to remember all those episodes on the tread-mill (ok, perhaps it wasn't too much of a strain to remember working out in the gym and the knee deep snow. Perhaps I would just like to forget that part of it for now). It was almost as if the sun assisting in melting the winter horrors away.
• April 2, 2010 - Bike 50 miles - I went on my first 50-mile ride since Fall and I realized my legs had just about enough at 2:15:00. However, I learned how to draft today (thanks Bill) and that made a huge difference in finishing out the workout. I learned a lot on this ride and am looking forward to learning and growing as a rider. After the ride, I didn't need a nap, which was a bonus (last summer, in the beginning, after rides such as this, I would have needed a serious nap). However, I also noticed my heart-rate is higher than when I left the road in 2009 for the trainer. Hopefully I am able to get out more in order to lower that heart-rate - I must.

After the past couple of days I feel wiser. Mentally, I feel a bit more prepared somehow. On the bike I actually knew how to shift and there was no need to stand while climbing the hills. Being on the bike felt "normal". I am sun-burnt and a bit more in tune with the wiles of the weather. I know I will be ready, I just still have such a long way to go.

Why?

Why do I do this? I guess the better questions is, why not do this?
It seems we spend the majority of our youth working toward something. At least in my experience, sport was always a great part of my life. It taught social, time management and life skills. Most importantly, it gave me a goal. It was as if I was always focused upon getting faster or being better or defeating that one specific opponent who was "that much better" than me.
School also played a significant role in my youth. I studied to perform well and was always learning something new. Even when sport wasn't a significant part of my life (enter the college years) academics took over that role. It gave me something to focus upon.
Exit college, enter adulthood and a "real job". When I first started working it was exciting. I was actually making money, was now living on my own and the career possibilities were seemingly endless. I just knew that I would be "somebody". I knew I had the ability and the drive to make it in "corporate" and I was going to do it (yea me...rah! rah! rah!).
It didn't take long before I began to understand what "corporate" really meant and that being ones own cheerleader wasn't going to be enough to make it to the top of the "corporate ladder".
Enter "downsizing". I was cut from my first "real" job, treated like a moron in my second, experienced a company buy-out in my third and another company downsizing in my fourth. I very quickly realized that companies didn't care about their employees and that I, for the first time in my life, realized what being expendable was. This feeling of expendability can wear on a person. I felt heartbroken. That energy I had when I first graduated, after 10 years in this pit called corporate, had been depleted. I understood that my success was not controlled by my ability or my drive. It was controlled by "someone" and if this someone decided (for whatever reason) they didn't want me there, with a snap of a finger, I was gone.
Now what? Why had I gone to college? I had been successful in sports and academically I had done well. But what was I to do with this new set of information that I would never succeed or fulfill my career ambitions (actually, I had no desire to fulfill my career ambitions if it meant beating on people as I had been beaten).
Enter Ironman.
I've been asked - "why do this"? I respond - "why not do this"?
For the first time since leaving behind the athletic and academic goals of my youth, I am standing on top of the world (independently, this is reason enough). I feel as if my fate and my future are once again in my hands, pending how hard I am willing to work and how much time I am willing to invest. There isn't anyone who can keep me from realizing this goal but me: no politics, no judgements, no jealousies. I am the CEO, the manager and the employee. I am a one-man corporation with the final outcome always being positive (that I worked toward something and regardless of the final result, I did what I needed to do to complete this task).
So, why not? What an amazing challenge! What an adventure! What a journey! This process (in under a year) has changed me. I am not the same person I was before this journey began. It was as if the Ironman process has wiped my slate (covered in career disappointment, personal failures and all human error that was burned into my brain dragging me down) clean. It is a selfish process, but a process that has made me a better person and therefore, a better person to everyone around me. I no longer have voices of defeat and misery infiltrating my brain. Instead, I am encouraged every day; not only by those who also believe in this process, but by my own mind (the one thing I can control, but can quickly lose control if not nurtured properly).
Now, whatever happens in my life, regardless of circumstance, I know that I have this "thing" called Ironman and the process that goes along with it to get me through whatever challenges life throws at me.

March 29-March 31

• 3-29-10 - Swim 4,000 yards/weights 30 minutes - After completing most of my workout, I was able to complete :35/50 yard sprints - not too terrible considering I had already finished 2 miles.
• 3-30-10 - Run 2 hours - Today I felt the need to run - awhile. I set out for a 2 hour run, but not without incident. Note: ate a banana and yogurt with granola before the run with success (haven't had a great deal of success with nutrition before a run before). At the 1:30 point in my run I wanted to turn for home so badly (I was .5 miles away). But those wicked voices in the back of my mind spoke up, actually they more than spoke up, they were yelling at me to quit being a pansy and to suck it up and run the extra 30 minutes. Actually, to be even more specific, the voice said "are you going to give up when you feel this way during the Ironman race or do you want to truly be an Ironman". It was at this moment, that I made a right turn and ran the additional 30 minutes. The only issue I felt was at 1:45, the lactic acid in my left leg was not happy. I had a sharp pain from the middle of my shin that went down into my foot. I've noted this feeling before and remember it well from the Fall.
• 3-30-10 (cont...) - After the run I felt pretty great, aside from my left leg (incident noted). My heart rate bordered on Z2-Z3 and in the Fall, I was a low Z2 the entire 2 hours. I am still nervous about the run portion of the race, but I still have 5 months to improve and will continue to "up" my run 10% weekly (if possible) to give my mind some more stability as it is still a bit shaky.
• 3-31-10 - Swim 4,000 yards/Bike Trainer (outside) 1 Hr - Hallelujah it's warm enough to put the trainer outside. I didn't have time to go on the road, so the trainer outside was enough. I even got some sun. Tomorrow, I hit the open road.

The Heart

Through this Ironman process (and having a multitude of hours to kill on my flight(s) this week), I have put a great deal of thought into the signficant role the heart plays throughout this journey.
I am not just speaking about "having heart". Having heart merely consists of pushing oneself and staying focused and taking on the many challenges that will appear through the process. The journey is more about the actual heart function than the "idea" of the heart.
So, that being said, I have listed some tips I've been learning over the past few months about my heart and what I can do to ensure it is just as ready as the rest of me for August 29th. (source: Fink, D. (2004) Be iron fit: Time-efficient training secrets for ultimate fitness.Guilford, CT: The Lyons Press).

1. Effective heart rate training prevents us from training in the wrong zone, and it ensures that all of our training is beneficial and time-efficient.
2. There is no such thing as "my pace" - a pace where you feel comfortable. Training by pace can lead to junk miles and inefficient training. Pace is simply not a reliable indicator of how hard you are working. External factors such as heat, hills, wind, altitude, insufficient sleep etc., can affect the effort level required to maintain a certain pace.
3. If not pace - what is effective? Heart rate. your heart rate doesn't lie. It will tell you how hard you are working.
4. Forget about miles, run for a specific time and focus on your heart rate during this run.
5. Running for time also allows you to manage your training more easily because a 60-minute run take 60 minutes.
6. Calculate your heart rate by substracting your age from 220. The number is your maximum heart rate (z4)

• Z4 = 90-95% of BPM
• Z3 = 86-89% of BPM
• Z2 = 75-85% of BPM
• Z1 = 65-74% of BPM

(BPM - beats per minute) (example: 220 - 33 (age) = 187. The maximum heart rate is 187 (Z4 = 90-95% of 187 = 168-177)

March 23-March 28

• 3-23-10 - Swim 4,000 yards/Bike :45 - After a week of "unique excercise opportunities, I am finally back to it and whoa did my arms feel weak in the swim today. After I swam, I biked :45 and could tell my body was freaking out and wanted for me to go slow. However, despite my body going into shock after my week off (due to my trip for school), my workout wasn't "terrible" (define terrible right . . .).
• 3-24-10 - Bike 1 hour (trainer)/Run 1 hour - I am feeling better today. I am curious to see how my body responds to the time I took off. The bike felt better today (much better than yesterday), but I still don't feel as strong as I did when I left for Spokane. The run was "ok" - I couldn't find my monitor so I had to "wing it". I made it an hour and felt fine, but before the trip, my "brick workouts" were almost amazing and I felt really great. I will keep an eye on this for sure. Great things to come.
• 3-25-10 - Swim 4,000 yards/Bike 1 hour (trainer) - The rainy weather kept me inside today on the trainer. I swam 4,000 yards (2,000 yards in sprints - YIKES) - not exactly the best thing after having some time off. However, I did it, yet while doing ALOT of mental "bitching". I don't regret the week of (I have been pain free all week and am really happy to be training again). The bike is getting stronger. I feel better every day I ride and hope that trend continues. (WATER NOTE: - consume approx one 16 oz bottle of water per hour on the trainer/sweat like a pig).
• 3-26-10 - Swim 4,000 yards - the swim today turned out to be a "filler" since my extreme Friday workout was replaced by getting my hair cut and colored (I have held onto a little vanity through this "mess of a process").
• 3-27-10 - H.O.P. 3 hour trainer ride - I felt strong! I felt strong! I felt strong! The week off may have indeed been a little benefical (I am not paranoid about taking a week off or anything). I think the biggest accomplishment of the day was that I didn't need a nap after this 3-hour "killer of a trainer ride". Perhaps I am getting in better shape (again, define "better shape" . . .).
• 3-28-10 - Run 1 hour - I was a tiny bit sore today, but considering the events of days past this week, I feel great. Dodging a rain shouwer, I pushed through the leg soreness and stiffness (that did get increasingly worse as the day progressed) to complete the run. It felt great after the first 15 minutes had passed. I guess at the end of my first week back after the week off it is fitting to share that my legs are telling me (right before bed) that I did in fact have a week of. Physically, I feel awesome, but my legs may need a jumpstart tomorrow.

A Magnificant Head Game

During Ironman training, one day you are confident that you can crush the world with your little finger and that you WILL finish the Ironman and the next day, you don't even want to think about the race because there is no way you can do it. You make wake up after a hard 3-day session and feel strong and pain free and the next week "tweak" a muscle in your knee just bending to get something out the refrigerator.
EVERY DAY IS DIFFERENT
and yet
EVER DAY IS THE SAME
Every day I have been focused on this goal that gets closer every day. Every day I wake up to do the next workout on my list, to eat healthier, to say "no" to lunch with friends because that is the only hour of the day I have to complete me workout. And through all of this, I find that people will misunderstand the reasoning and judge the motives. However, it comes down to this; I am doing this for one of a million reasons, but the key point is that I am doing this for me.
On race day, its me and only me with all of my hard work and dedication that I am bringing to this astronomical physical challenge. I will be the one "putting my name it" on race day. This challenge and my motives for completing this challenge have nothing to do with anyone else and thus, I have whisk any comment or judgement aside through the process to keep my sanity and to keep focused on the goal. I am quickly learning that the key is to stay focused every day and do what my body will allow, knowing that the day of my race, everything will come together.
But, what a magnificent head game this challenge is - it takes mental and physical strength to get through each day and the only one who can control both is me.

March 8 - March 14

• 3-8-10 - Run :45/Bike :45 - The sun was out yet again so I decided to run and bike a little. My legs were so weak!!! I ended up running :45 and biking :45. This isn't so bad considering the amount I ran this weekend. I had to take advantage of the weather though.
• 3-9-10 - Swim 4,000 yards - I completed a 4,000 yard swim today consisting of 50 laps pull, 20 sprints and 10 random cool down. My arms felt strong. It's odd how one day my arms feel like noodles and the next I can feel so strong.
• 3-10-10 - Bike 1:50 (trainer) - My legs felt good. my cadence increased as the ride went on (which is exactly what i needed to see). I am looking forward to the difference of the road/trainer. I am certain its going to be strange at first (note: I did bike with the windows open - it was 62 today).
• 3-11-10 - Run 30/ Swim 4,000 yards - My upper body is getting stronger - slowly - I can tell during the 25 yard sprints when I am taking 5-10 seconds off from where I was a few weeks ago - pretty cool!
• 3-12-10 - Bike 1 hour (trainer) /Run 1:15 @ 8.5 minute mile (extreme Friday) - I felt pretty good. I had a little irritation in my legs toward the end but I rode my bike 1 hour before I ran and I really think that made a huge difference and improved my ability to run better.
• 3-13-10 - H.O.P. 2 1/2 hour trainer ride - Again, the bike is feeling better and I am looking forward to seeing how my body will perform once I get out on the road.
• 3-14-10 - OFF